Graduation Postponed

Tuesday, I found out the lab was last Tuesday. Yesterday, I was advised by the professor not to write the final exam.

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During the years I have been in school, there are some days that I feel like finding something to smack me on the head or slice myself up just to keep myself from admitting that I am unable to depend on myself (to work by myself). I shafted myself in the end, and I felt that I had let myself down irrevocably.

So after spending so many months on this course, and depressingly going through the motions, I reached one of my very deep lows yesterday and the day before. I knew that I had screwed up, but this time it was worse than all the others.

My entire family was counting on me graduating this semester so I could go home to my mom, and work at QHS in the meantime, and finally get things back on track. But now I have to stay in Montreal another semester, to go through one course, and figure out how to support myself now that the student loans are maxed, and keep myself sane.

I miss my father very much.

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In the meantime, thanks to all my friends for their kind support and advice. I will be calling the ombudsperson soon to set up an appointment, as big pu has strongly suggested.