Ms C's Random Food Review: Purple Cauliflower

What: A not-so-gross looking purple cauliflower from the discount pile. Since I don't have much experience with buying vegetables in general, I thought I could get away with cutting off all the darker crappy parts and cook it as normal.

How: A stir-fry with a bright yellow zucchini, onions, and really red wine-soaked mushrooms, and then another time with cream of mushroom.

And...?: It is way freaky when you have a plate of vegetables with weird colours. Even weirder when the cream of mushroom turns purple from the joy of anthocyanins.

Then it gets gross when you try to eat it. Don't get me wrong - I really like cooked cauliflowers, and I even appreciate raw cauliflower (with the weird aftertaste reduced by soaking in some salt). And I barely ever eat raw vegetables... @_@

Well, I don't know about regular healthy purple cauliflowers, but this one tasted like acid. Everything I made was invaded with the taste of a really acidic bite. No matter if I added sugars, cheeses, tomatoes, salt, spices.... Nothing hides the acid.

On the plus side, it doesn't have a terrible aftertaste - it does leave a tingly acidic (purplish) tongue, however.

Rating: 3/5 until someone tells me what the hell went wrong.

Ms C's Random Food Review: Grapefruit

What: Grape-fruit. The pink one.

Comments: It doesn't even look like a grape. Besides being spherical.

The recent weather mishaps (in a multi-million-dollar-devastation sense) over citrus counties in the states have guaranteed that our fresher supplies of vitamin C will cost more than it usually should, although supplies are still regular from other continents like in South America. I forgot where we got these pamplemousses from but I assume they are actually from Califlowernia.

Review: Jorgh and I don't see eye to eye with citrus fruits. Basically, he hates oranges and anything that has to do with orange, even artificially flavoured orange crystals (or so I presume) and orange shirts. Though I see that he will gladly devour a tablespoon of lemon juice when he gets the hiccups because, "It works!" Then he gets mad when I get hiccups and refuse to gracefully sip away at citric acid on a spoon.

On the other hand, we both agreed on buying some grapefruits to vary our fruit intake. Tangy and sweet at the same time, the pink grapefruit is a summery citrus that has no need of supplement nor garnish, unlike other kinds of grapefruits, the "Ruby Red" variety is sweeter. It is a fruit thoroughly appreciated when freshly squeezed into juice or scooped out clumsily with a teaspoon. Then the pulp and juice have to be slurped out to avoid waste. One can argue that a grapefruit spoon will help avoid all that mess but I would rather keep my 5 dollars, thank you very much.

Jorgh dumped a teaspoon of sugar on top of his half. Then I had to eat it.

Rating: 4/5 for fruits, but 2/5 for style. >:(

Ms C's Random Food Review: Barley

What: It is called barley.

Comments: One puts it in soups, like Davy showed me that one time he made us mushroom (and more) soup. I remember the giant Ivo pot in which we made enough soup to feed us for weeks afterward, and the peppercorns that had been left in the bottom for one poor sap who had the last bowl of extra peppery flavoured soup-ness. (Lil V should have had that one, knowing how tolerant I am of spices.) But the soup was good, and much of it was because of the addition of barley. I would not have thought of adding it otherwise, nor thought of putting it in nearly all the soups I can possibly add it in.

Review: A small amount in water puffs out into a lot of barley. I learned this the hard way. (When have I not learned anything the hard way...!? #@_@) I have yet to correctly proportion the dry barley:broth volumes, as every time I put a bit less it still sops up most of the broth and expands like a marshmallow in a microwave.

Personally, I don't mind having such a bloated soup full of barley, as I can't get enough of the partly crunchy texture and the way it complements vegetables. It absorbs the beefy taste in beef broth, which adds even more depth to the soup. But alas, Jorgh doesn't think soup should look like wet foodstuff + some water so I have to experiment further.

Rating: A gajillion stars!!!/5 potatoes

Ms C's Random Food Review: More Junk Food

What: Double Stuf "Cool Mint Creme" Oreo

Comments: It is green. Very green. Like those glowing fluorescent neon colours from ten years ago when Nabisco thought it would be a great idea to make Oreos more "totally rad." But it is double stuffed, so I thought it would be okay. I think my mum bought this on sale (when does she not buy on sale?) at Zellers when Nabisco stopped producing this particular kind of Oreo because I can't seem to find a picture of it in their catalogue.

Review: At first, I thought that "cool mint" would mean a slight reminiscence of mint ice cream. But mint ice cream doesn't remind me of eating toothpaste. Nevermind that the cream looks like toothpaste...

The positive thing about the Double Stuf Oreos is the nice touch on the cookie itself - it not only has the familiar "Oreo" relief printed on it, but a detailed "Double Stuf" ornament, reminding us that Nabisco cares about our "double" stuffed cookie sandwiches so deeply as to create a completely different cookie cutter die that proudly decorates their concern for our satisfaction.

But it still tastes like toothpaste.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 Cookies.

Ms. C's Random Food Review: Frozen Box Lunch

What: The HUNGRY MAN EXTREME Lasagna

WHAT?: Cheese, lasagna noodle, filled with cheese, with a hearty meat sauce.

I can't believe you ate that.: Over 1 lbs of food! Over 850 calories! For comparison, my bowl of cereal this morning had about 250 cal, with milk.

Seriously, you ate it?: Yes.

Comments: It's lasagna, but an extra long portion of it. I could easily have eaten half of it and have been done, but I had nowhere to put the rest because I was at school today, so I chose to consume the rest, figuring that I would burn the excess caloric intake from chasing grade 3 students around the classroom and keeping them from beating each other up. One of the teachers said it smelled good.

Review: Actually, it is hard to ruin a frozen pasta noodle, except if it dries out (like Michelina). It actually did smell good, and the sauce was actually meaty in texture, a rarity in products that have "meat sauce" advertised on the label. The ricotta or whatever in between the noodles was chalky and pretty gross, so I squished it out of the meal.

Rating: 3/5...

What, are you kidding? THIS IS TOO MUCH FOOD. OK, 2/5.

Popcorn Again and Other Blather

Not two days after my attempt at making caramel popcorn did my mum bring home a bag from Kernels. It seems an acquaintance at the mall who works there brought her the bag in exchange for sushi. And now I know why they call it Kernels - every other bite has a rock-hard pellet in it.

Ms C's Random Food Review, Part Million Twenty-Three

Today: Kernels Popcorn, Caramel

Comments: It arrived in a blue bag, proudly proclaiming it was popped freshly that day. It also arrived with the seal broken, my mum having opened it to eat some. I HOPE. The only contents are popcorn (and kernels, thank you very much Kernels) and caramel coating, so no nuts and other random metal bits to fuss about.

Review: If I hadn't burnt the caramel popcorn in the oven the other day, mine would be much tastier. (Yes, I know, I suck.) Generally speaking, the caramel of the Kernels popcorn is bland. Not much flavour other than sugartastic sweet. The popcorn was decent enough - fluffy, large, and fresh enough to last a day. The disadvantage of old popcorn without flavouring or fancy coating is that it gets gross and stale quickly. Also, anyone who has ever made their own popcorn from kernels and a stovetop or air popper will tell you that microwave popcorn and popcorn sellers are ripping you off into oblivion.

Rating: Three / 5

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I calculate that a supply teacher in this city can work about four days a month to cover the rent. '_'

Yesterday, I went to an elementary school to supply; this being my second time doing elementary, it was just as I expected from the first time, without all the fights breaking out every ten minutes. Like a hockey game! Furthermore, I have never been in a school that I have become lost in so quickly. It's like one of those dreams where you walk down a hall and up or down stairs, follow random people, and find out you're in a completely different building.

---

Within a few days, Ian should be in town to visit. I had told him to come while the autumn colours were still around, but that rain-and-wind-storm from last weekend pretty much blew off all the leaves around here. Hence, he'll have to settle for drab November and all its dull glories.

Garlic

A strong, pungent herb that is capable of arousing both ravenous appetites and stink-o-meter alarms of disgust. Beware of the fresh uncooked garlic, for the pure juices and aromas of joy will undoubtedly defile any and all body parts that come in contact with it. For instance, a home-made garlic butter devilishly lathered on a side of potatoes or bread will cause the mouth to never forget the herb's acidic and shaming designs.

If there is any seasoning more damning in the world, I'd like to hear it.

Davy'd Better Watch This Space...

Random Notes

I have yet to finish those tax forms.

I got a phone call this morning from that mess of a school asking me to go all next week. For the hell of it, I told them that I couldn't go on the 5th and 6th, since I already told my other school that I would be there. Lo and behold, they accepted that arrangement. I wonder how desperate they are...

How to cook a steak:
1- preheat frying pan on medium high
2- put oil in pan
3- put steak in pan, about 5 minutes
4- turn steak over once
5- eat
0- buy Schwartz Steak Spice, dammit

Ms C's Random Food Review (part 3)

Today: Hot cocoa the not-so-instant style

Comments: Most people have some inkling for a hot chocolate (a.k.a. drinking chocolate, or even a cup of brown in water), or some sort of hot drink, when the temperature decreases dramatically. In this case, I was bored. Let me impart the details of its creation:

• not made of NesQuik, Carnation, or other instant packets


• probably made of severed digits of small children ground up with the store-brand cocoa, but it's still robust in flavour

What is in the cuppa chocolate is 1 tablespoon of cocoa powder and 2 tablespoons of sugar, and most importantly, hot water or some sort of hot liquid (milk, maybe?). Otherwise the cocoa will never dissolve and you get the inevitable deposit of blobs of bitter cocoa at the bottom of the cup.

Review: It's cheaper than buying instant mixes in boxes or packets. But you have to be sure to use a cocoa that isn't only meant for baking otherwise the results may be disastrous. I used store-brand baking cocoa that seems to work. When dissolving the powder, I used a combination of half hot water and half cold milk, which instantly cancelled each others temperature out and resulted in a rather less than warm drinkable beverage. Still, my chocolate craving is satisfied, and I can stop when I want. *twitch* *twitch*

Saving grace: Rich cocoa satisfaction. And a luscious feeling of having consumed a chocolate factory or something of the like.

Rating: 4/5; bonus point for when I use all milk and froth it with my wondrous birthday present, the milk frother.

Random Photo

Dull and stately National Assembly of Quebec. (National?) 

Random Photo

By far, this must be my favourite non-serious picture out of the entire weekend... :) 

A TV Movie I'm Certain to Miss Anyway...

It appears that the thing I was an extra in this summer is actually going to air this holiday season. Now remember, I was the one in a purple pompom hat and a grey coat. Or the asian girl. Whichever one you might see in one scene. It's supposed to be freaking cold but in real life I was melting in 30 degree weather in a wool coat.

Ms C's Random Food Review (part 2)

Today: Ms C's craptastic apple pie, a.k.a. cardboard with fruit

Comments: After the (ill-fated?) success of the last blueberry pie, Jorghnassen insisted that we create a pie just for ourselves, while he was in town this weekend. So we (and by "we" I mean "I") set about trying to recreate the pastry with my mum's "recipe" (basically, her shouting out what quantities of which ingredients that seemingly "fits" regardless of the actual recipe) with very traumatic results.

Review: Seeing as the key ingredient in a good pastry is lard (sorry, no vegetable substitute here), we made sure there was plenty. And there was plenty. Which should be the case, as no one ever came up with a "diet pie" that was anything close to the real thing without the good fat.

Overall, the pastry became disgusting and dry... due to me trying to make the pastry become better than a pile of lard and flour. It wouldn't hold together so I finally gave up and spatula-ed the mess onto the pie plate.

Saving grace: egg wash. Makes any gross pastry a golden less-than-eyesore.

Rating: -0.5 / 5 ... it is still edible but barely...

Ms C's Random Food Review (part 1)

Today: Nestle Nesquik Strawberry Flavoured Syrup (a.k.a. radioactive red goop)

Comments: I don't know why mama bought it, but it's been in the fridge long enough. Anyway, I went out to buy 4 L of milk and my mama yelled at me for getting so much when I'll be the only one to drink it.

Review: The syrup is translucent, thick, and very red. Kids love eating things that are red or chocolatey-brown. I'm sure if they were told that "natural" red food colouring comes from insects, they'd still eat it. Anyway, the ingredients are basically sugar, corn syrup, glucose/fructose (etc.), water, and red. The bottle is cute though - it's the notorious Quik Bunny (now renamed Nesquik Bunny I suppose), happily guzzling down huge glassfuls of syrup-flavoured milk the same size as itself.

The syrup nestles itself very snugly at the bottom of the glass of milk. Using my cute birthday present from Jorgh's parents, a "milk frother," I very quickly turned my drink a mysterious shade of pink. The overall experience is rather unsettling. Slight strawberry flavour is present, but it tastes like sweet milk. I enjoy chocolate milk as much as the next non-lactose-intolerant individual, but I have frightening memories of receiving a glass of milk with a good inch of undissolved sugar at the bottom of it. Needless to say, I'd rather be having the chocolate-sugar mix.

Rating: 3/5 just for being an interesting distraction.