A Conversation with the Afterlife

It's been nearly six years since my dad passed away. I often have dreams where he appears as he was when I was younger - sometimes even in his twenties or thirties, when only photos could have showed me how he looked. Nevertheless, my belief when he died is that he exists in an afterlife, where neither God nor Devil nor Buddha exists. It would be where people's souls exist on a plane different from ours, and we could communicate with them somehow, in mystic or an indirect manner. He was not a believer of any sort of religion as far as I knew, and this belief in a non-denominational afterlife comforted me when I woke up in tears from seeing him in dreams after his death.

Once I fell asleep and dreamt I could talk to him. In life, we could not speak directly as his English comprehension was not complete and my Cantonese comprehension is laughable; but to my knowledge, we were able to speak freely with complete understanding. An exchange could happen:

Me: Dad!
Dad: How have you been?
Me: Pas pire. You?
Dad: It's good. Nothing to complain about.
Me: ...
[Awkward silence.]
Me: So... did you hear about that Hockey Night in Canada theme controversy?
Dad: I heard. >:(

The Craigslist Conversation

Chance encounter at the park?

Reply to: cbear45@yahoo.com
Date: 2008-07-19, 11:19PM EST


I saw you walking your dog at the park today wearing a pink fuzzy sweater and a grey skirt. I wanted to talk to you but your dog kept barking at me and you hurried away before I could get your number. Let's meet again without interruptions. :)


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re: Chance encounter at the park?

Reply to: spot667@hotmail.com
Date: 2008-07-20, 9:31AM EST


You weren't wearing any pants, you sick freak.


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re: re: Chance encounter at the park?

Reply to: cbear45@yahoocom
Date: 2008-07-20, 9:45AM EST


Just the fact you wrote back shows that you do want to see me again! Same place, same time?

Cowgirl of the Conestogo

She shifted in the saddle for comfort. The horse stood still, waiting for a command. "Gee-yup!" she uttered in a commanding but soothing voice, digging her heels into the horse's sides. Unused to the new rider, the horse neighed and reared slightly before launching, and the girl excitedly braced the leather reins. She laughed and chatted happily into the horse's ear, for each time the hooves landed on the ground and the head bobbed from each step. Without warning, the horse slowed down, and the girl impatiently dug in her heels again. "Woah, girl, what's wrong?" she asked. The horse gave no reply, and it stopped completely. A strong pair of hands picked the girl off from the saddle, with a voice booming from above, "It's time to give the other kids a turn on the horsey. A quarter doesn't last very long."

Sunburn... Slowly...

One disadvantage of running too late in the day is getting too tanned. I didn't realize how red I was getting until yesterday, when I came back inside and took a shower. I get flushed naturally when I drink (a modicum amount) or exercise, so I have to wait a while until I noticed the tan line was not just a different colour, but red. Also, it seems that I was just to the point that things would have started to peel... and that's all fun and games.

So I'm trying to go for two different goals here: not to burn by interspersing days in between running (but trying to wake up early enough to avoid high UV times), and to get to 5 km eventually because it's been 3 months and I still haven't gotten there yet. :(

But there's a way to have you encourage me, and that's to donate to the cause. More on that soon.

---

I noticed the It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! essay contest, but I don't have a 500 word story to submit. On the other hand, I do have a 154 word story for you, so that should suffice. I don't like remembering things that happened in elementary school.

Worst Hallowe'en Ever

When I was in second grade, my mother - who is inept at making artistic things - attempted to help me create my bee costume. It consisted of a yellow tee-shirt with black stripes sewn on, a pair of black jogging pants, coat hanger and pantyhose wings, and a pair of pipe cleaner antennae. I was pretty proud of our creation, until I wore it to school that day. Another girl in the class was also dressed as a bee, but her mother was a costume designer! Her perfectly sewn yellow-and-black striped torso was also stuffed, which gave her petite figure an adorable puffiness, stinger included. Her headgear was spring-mounted, a cute detail indeed. And her wings were sewn into shiny patterns, not unlike a real bee. Everyone thought she was adorable. She received the school prize for best costume.

And it didn't help that it was too cold to go trick-or-treating that year.

Nostalgic

It had been ages since the duo had seen each other, but the reunion was bittersweet. Singer and pianist separated to pursue their own careers ten years prior to the meeting, separating over personal and professional differences. Now, the nostalgic public demanded the comeback, and their popularity had been falling in later years. It was enough for them to receive the attention about the reunion that they were met with cameras and magazine reporters at their "airport reconciliation meeting." Their rehearsals were congenial but reserved, as they each noticed the effects of aging and maturing on each others' faces. Finally, the day came when they held a private interview with the biggest entertainment news program. Their smiles and uneasy laughter were broadcasted to the world, but it was unconvincing enough to generate a buzz about their incompatibility. Their comeback concert was poorly attended - rounded out with hardcore fans - and their tour was gratefully cut back. Finally, the day they called it quits, none of the media was paying attention to them anymore, and they sat together in the studio.

"What's that song we first sang together?" the singer asked.
"That was way back when the funk was big, but we were still stuck in those old folk songs," the pianist mused. "Oh I know, it's that one about the couple in love."
"Ah yeah. That's right. They had to part because of war or something."
The singer started humming a few measures, and the pianist found the right key. Soon, they started singing, and they didn't stop until the song was over. They took one look at each other, and laughed as they hadn't in twenty years.

Body

He spent his entire life with his bodybuilding obsession: full-time training at the gym, lifting weights, and constantly exercising. He talked, ate, and breathed the sport - so much that he had alienated all the non-bodybuilding people around him. However, he made a decent living with competitions and commercial promotions. At the age when most people thought of moving out of their empty nests, he was outpacing all his peers with limbs as thick as tree trunks.

Then disaster struck: due to a serious accident, he was hospitalized for the first time in his life. It was also the first time he had spent weeks unable to move freely, which broke his psyche. The hospital staff bore the brunt of his raving and inconsiderate behaviour. Each patient that was moved into his room quickly asked to be transferred to another. Finally, one patient seemed to tolerate the ramblings of the bodybuilder, and seemed to be blissfully listening.

The bodybuilder didn't understand why the other man was looking intently at him while he complained about how his body was broken, wasting away, and how frustrated he was becoming by the day. He also didn't know why the man never spoke back, nor even turned away. His talking never seemed to faze the man, which caused him to get angrier and then more subdued but annoyed. "It's like talking to a dummy!" he barked. "If you're going to look at me, at least react to something!"

A woman stepped into the room, and she stood by the man's bedside. The man gestured to the bodybuilder, who was now curiously silent, and started signing with his hands. The woman turned to face him and smiled. "He says he wants to thank you."

"What? Why? If I had known he were deaf I wouldn't have spoken to him."

The woman shook her head. The man signed some more. "He's just had an operation to gain his hearing for the first time, and you're the first person to have spoken to him like a real human being."

Nothing Ever Happens

The forest had all but been cut clean, save a solitary spruce tree that was saved because of its attractive shape and unusually large girth and height. The new owner of the lot had decided it could provide the land with some character, and it could also nicely raise the property value of the house to be built. The tree had stood for at least a hundred years, surviving season after season of intense snow storms and scorching summer mayhem. The tree's seeds made up part of the forest around it. The squirrels and chipmunks were often found under its boughs, and birds welcomed the cones especially in the winter. It was not unusual to see a moose hiding under it during vicious storms. But now a construction worker stood under it, hiding in the shade from the sweltering summer sun, smoking on his lunch break. The stub that had not been properly put out started the fire. Nobody noticed the tree, dry from the heat, robed in flames, until it was too late. The fire department put out the flaming stump, and all that was left was a dark frame of a tree. A few hours later, while nobody was looking, charred cones released their seeds.

Hobby Accomplished

Fuzznuts, I lost the last story due to the keyboard "POWER" button. It was about a bodybuilder but now I'm too mad to write it again.

Hobby Accomplished

He had been waiting weeks for his package to arrive. It was the last remaining item to complete his collection of model trains from the industrial age. He had been anxious about its price - way beyond his immediate means - but he knew it would be worth the expense just to put it in his glass display case along with the rest of his collection. Then he could rest easy, knowing that he had finished his search. When the package arrived, he savored every moment cutting open the tape, lifting the box open, and digging out the packaging material. It was intact, and he was relieved. He slowly lifted it out of the box and admired its construction. Every facet was meticulously detailed and there was no defect as far as he could tell. He opened his display case, carefully placed it on the remaining empty spot, and closed the case. A few days later, he invited his friend to visit him to view the collection. His friend at first humored his enthusiastic stories, but impatience caused him to started taking out a train set.

"What are you doing?" he cried. "You're going to ruin it!"
"Made... in... China..."
"What does that matter? Hey!"
His friend gave him a frustrated look. "What's the point of getting all of these if you're never going to play with them?" the ten year old declared.

A Spider's Random Morning

The spider spent only an hour on it, but after it was completed, the web was the largest that the doorway ever saw. It glistened and gleamed in the early morning sunlight, with a few drops of dew still hanging between a few threads. The spider set itself directly in the middle and waited for the spoils of the day. It waited for a long time before a few small flies had become stuck in its web. The spider was ready to feast upon its morning meal when suddenly the door opened. A little boy and girl were just about to step outside and into the web when they immediately noticed a magnificently large web spanning the entire doorway, with a beautifully coloured spider as large as their mouths, now open wide and screaming into the daylight. Their mother hastily swatted away the morning art, and the spider scurried away into the nearby flower bed.

It Must be Hard

She drove her date in her precious new sports car to the fabulous seaside resort inn, where they had dined on the finest seafood entrées and top quality wines. While they were nibbling away at their desserts, he took out a small box and knelt down on one knee. The restaurant patrons all watched intently as her eyes widened at his actions. He opened the ring case; her face fell quickly. She angrily stood up, took the glass that held the dessert wine and threw the contents at his face. The entire restaurant was abuzz with astonishment, while the man still holding the box held a look of stunned amusement. She quickly gathered her purse and belongings, and stormed out of the restaurant all the while screaming insults at him. When the mess had died down, a waiter helped the man clean his face and asked if things were alright. He shrugged and laughed heartily. The waiter puzzledly asked what had happened. The man opened the box and showed the waiter. Inside was neither a ring nor jewelry, but a small picture of the woman amourously entwined in the arms of another man. After the patrons had all left, the waiter said to the busboy, "It must be hard to be so beautiful."

Strawberries

She had diligently tended her balcony strawberry plants for many weeks, waiting for the first berries to appear. Finally, in early July after the plant reluctantly flowered and started showing its fruit, she could see that there would not be many berries to speak of. Thus started the heavy fertilizing schedule, until the few berries grew into large uneven blobs. Then one morning, she intended to harvest the ripened fruit when to her horror she saw that all her plants had all been picked clean. She gloomily lamented her loss, but told herself that perhaps they had been put to better use by nature.

Strawberries, Part 2

A restless and lonely boy would often wander through the halls of his apartment complex, climbing the stairs and sliding down the banisters. Sometimes he would covertly climb around the neighbours' balconies, knowing fully well that he would be in deep trouble if he were caught. His guardian knew it was not an environment suited for such a boy, but leaving him with his parents was impossible at the moment. Early one morning, the boy stole out of his apartment and came across the balcony on the ground level teeming with strawberry plants. Temptation proved too strong, and his greedy hands plucked the strawberries one at a time until his face was stained red and his hands gripping the remains of the fruit. When he realized his grand folly, he ran back and his guardian found him at the doorstep brimming with tears. The boy could not verbalize his mistake, only admitting that he had pilfered them from an unknown source.

The next morning, she found a boy carrying a large basket of strawberries on her doorstep.

Urbanites

An ambitious young student spotted on the other side of the street a solitary old woman sitting at a bench in a busy area, while rushing down the street to attend his class. He also noticed a metal walker further in the distance, unoccupied and drifting even further away from the bench due to hurried bystanders. His immediate thought was that this walker could belong to the old woman, and due to unfortunate circumstances it had been pushed beyond her reach and now lay in the middle of the busy pedestrian traffic. His path was taking him in the opposite direction, and his mind wandered about the woman so much that he was now a whole city block away, but he hurriedly turned around and ran back to where the walker was located. It was in the hands of a waste disposal manager (garbageman) who was loading it into the truck, but the young man's shouts of attention had the walker back onto the street securely in his hands. He dashed through the crowds with the walker to the old woman still seated on the bench. She was asleep so he left the walker next to her, content in his actions, and hastily jogged away to school. When she woke up moments later, she noticed that her walker had been dented in several spots and cursed aloud young hooligans who thought pranking a tired old granny was amusing.

Bird in a Teacup

A chickadee in a tree during winter ate too many fermented berries from the tree, and fell into a teacup lying in a permanent setting on the patio table underneath the branches. The teacup, filled with snow and a layer of frozen water, was shaped just so that the chickadee was unable to fly out. The chickadee struggled to escape the teacup but was unable, due to its inebriate state, leading to many distressing bird calls. The calls attracted the local alley cat, who attempted to pounce on the chickadee; but just at the last moment, the chickadee tipped the cup and tumbled out of it, escaping to freedom. A prize-winning photographer snapped a shot of the scene and it became the picture of the year.

Join me in World Domination!

... Or just for nation leader luncheon...
Greater Caqban, the place to be
Where you can do hardly but take a wee;
Sigh not relief, for if you knew
The government will watch you too.