RUN FOR THE CURE 2006 Motivation

It matters not why I run for this 5 km charity run. For charity, perhaps?

This post is more about how to motivate oneself to run. People are reported to do physical exercise when they are depressed or idle. But how do you gather enough strength to get up and go?

1. Pick a moment when you're sure nothing is going to happen. Give yourself an hour or so.


2. Drink some water. You're going to need it.


3. Put on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Put on some sport socks. Put on your shoes. Now you have no excuse.


4. Run a bit. Then walk a bit. Then run a bit more. Then heave a couple of breaths and walk a bit. Then run a bit more. But don't turn around.


5. Once you're through for the day, note where you have arrived. Then go home and have a good long drink. OF WATER.


6. Tomorrow, you're going to run to that point.

Here are some downsides to running outside, before you tell me that you experienced such-and-such and never want to do it again:

• Embarrassing moments of tripping on garbage, rocks, sidewalks, your own feet: Check.


• More athletic people passing you: Check.


• Less athletic people passing you: Check.


• Rather ignorant kids taunting you: Check.


• Rather ignorant and stupid kids calling out racial epithets: Check. :(


• Little doggies running at you barking: Check. Hell, I almost kicked it today.

But here are the upsides:

• People walking on the street encouraging you: Check. :):):):):)


• Turning a not-so-pasty white colour: Check.


• Kids actually saying hi for some reason: Check. ?_?


• Noticing your new shoes are dirtier and wearing down: CHECCCCKKK. @_@


• Self-motivated goals more easily achieved: Check.

The last one is because if you are on a treadmill, you can always tell yourself you're through and quit the machine, sit down, and swig some Vector water or Ethos water, or whatever the hell it's called.¹ When you're outside, you don't really have that option, so you mentally have to push yourself to further lengths. Because 5 km is a kind of a long walk home anyway.

¹I condone the buying and selling of water only when it's necessary. For instance, when you're out in the middle of nowhere and dehydration sets in. On the other hand, it makes as much sense to privatize clean water as it does to privatize clean air. Why must we turn to such alternatives? LOLz Anyway, keep hydrated.

A Visit

Bad dog! My pants had to be washed.

Then since Yoshi liked licking my feet so much (?!) I took a shower after.

But thanks for having me over for supper. :)

It's Give-Someone-A-Break Time!

I think that the world needs a bit more heart. Y'know, less cynicism. I think it's been rubbing off too much on me lately. For instance, earlier today while I was waiting in brem's car at the gas station while he was busy checking out the cashier, I watched the young attendant emptying out a garbage can. He was probably a high schooler, judging by the fashionable mop of hair on his head and the way his uniform shirt was semi-tucked into his pants. My knee-jerk reaction was that of wanting to chide the boy on having such a sloppy appearance at work. My senior coworkers (and especially the bosses) at the buffet would have thrown a fit, especially since a restaurant wants to provide the image of a clean and sanitary environment. Even for a gas station, one would want to show some level of professionalism, if it would only mean at least a tucked in shirt.

But I am one to reserve judgement. I watched the boy a while longer, as he tied the beer-can (and beer) filled bag up, and carried it away. As he walked, he spotted many pieces of garbage on the ground and also picked them up dutifully.

Likewise, in my buffet job, I also had to do very menial and disgusting, thankless tasks. Though they were part of my duties, I never expected anyone to compliment me for succeeding in cleaning out the buffet table at the end of the evening, nor to have stacked sufficient supplies of plates. But if I could give myself credit for something, it was that I did my job without ever exhibiting a bad attitude (unlike some of the younger coworkers I had the displeasure of working with), and it made all the difference to me. I felt that besides doing something completely mindless, it was sufficient to believe that my tasks were vital to the success of the whole organization. So it gave me some degree of self-confidence. (On the other hand, it did nothing for my career advancement but I don't really regret working there.)

So if a menial job well done could give someone some self-confidence, then this boy might benefit from some completely random words of support. I felt bad that I didn't get to do so, but I think I would have if I had thought of it sooner.

Give someone a meaningful compliment. Anyone. A random stranger. Your friend. A family member. Over the take-out intercom. To the cashier. To a busdriver. Telephone. Over the internet, even. ;)

Rant :(

I come across as a manic-depressive kook but I often feel terrible at times of inactivity like this. It's pretty easy to put aside the feelings of depression when there's a steady job, and one is surrounded with friends and good people, projects to work on...

But depressing feelings are like raisins in a glass of soda (try it if you haven't seen it before); they bob up and down unless you take them out of your drink and deal with them before they plump up. Ahh, silly analogies.

My day starts with a noon breakfast of champions (a bowl of cereal), followed by a few hours of "what the hell," and then a supper of random food. Then I'm back to "what the hell." My mum comes back from work and gets exasperated at me for a few hours. On Tuesday I tutor. On Wednesday I watch LOST, if it's new. Sometimes I get to bed at 2.

Jorghnassen has always been good to me. He tells me great things and supports my projects, comforts me about the serious dicking (pardon my language) I get from this place, and usually peppers his conversations with "Come back here :(" ... which everyone says.

Of course I have thought of it a lot - every time something stupid happens (March), to name a few), every time I see my friends, whenever I see youth retention reports (especially about anglos), when I visit my dad, and then when I make food enough for ten when I'm the only one who's going to eat the damn thing.

It pains me a lot to think that I am not needed here. The last two years I've been sitting on my ass here making myself pretty depressed, but I tried to convince myself that the reasons I chose to stay here (for now) were valid. Well, they're not so valid, just probably ridiculous from everyone else's perspective.

I am not convinced any more that I was meant to do what I thought I could. What's the use of two degrees from a university when I don't remember any of my training or make any use of this knowledge? Why did I have to go through so much pain and suffering over five years, only to come out feeling like I learned next to nothing? Why did I stay on this train when I didn't want to go to Alberta, but to New Brunswick? (No, I don't want to go to Alberta nor New Brunswick - it's another stupid analogy.)

But I'm not convinced I wasn't getting anything out of it. I enjoyed moments when things went well, with my own abilities. I was always happy to help, maybe too happy to help. I would go out of my own way to make my charges happy and keep them on the better path. I think I would have even quit if my charges told me it was better that way.

(Oh, but I didn't quit. My charges were actually getting along better until the bosses got rid of me.)

I'm probably the only person stupid enough to think this way, but I gave up a job once for a friend whom I believed was better suited for the tasks, and because he wanted experience in it. And I would do it all over again given that choice. But I'm tired of popular opinion trying to make me feel entitled to things or feel guilty for not being more selfish, because I really, really want to do great things for deserving people. (But I don't want to be a total tool either... I'm not like that.)

I just feel that I can't do it.

Of course I won't leave this post on a sad depressing note, so I'm linking this freaking cute corgi. (I think it's a corgi...)

Random Stuff Day

Since I was asked to supply for a school downtown starting next Monday, I will celebrate by posting a number of odds and ends that I wanted to share with you. And by "you," I mean Little V. And everyone else. But especially Little V. :D

• Cheer up, right away! If you don't, then just keep clicking. If you don't like it then you're a heartless bastard.



• A blog I randomly stumbled upon, while searching for the elusive mp3 albums of Sesame Street Fever and the even more difficult to pin down Mickey Mouse Disco. There are a lot of other weird albums and music/tv related things downloadable on the site.



• A hard as $%@! intelligence test that claims every question is "common sense;" but like all "intelligence tests," there are a fair number of "WTF-how-the-crap-am-I-supposed-to-know-that-you-stupid-freaks." By the way, you have to make sure you type the answer exactly the way the test wants to receive it (barring capitalization), so you need to pluralize things or spell things correctly.



• Souhaku Scans, which distributes some scanlated manga titles. In particular, Yakitate!! Japan. Most recently, I read Angel Densetsu, which turns out to be so fricking hilarious that my neighbours think I escaped from the mental hospital.



• When is Yakitate!! Japan updated??? (and "Where's Naruto!?") They'll post the titles of the newest scanlated manga releases of the day, although regardless you'll have to hunt for some of them through IRC.

Year-End Update

Dear all,

Amid turkey leftovers, guest-receiving, chocolate overdoses, a new washer arrival, and a terrible, terrible mess to clean up from the delivery, I'm having a wonderful holiday. It lasts for another week, or two, or whenever. As it so happens, my long vacation is a result of a good and/or bad thing - being a supply teacher.

Anyway, I would like to start to end this year's blogging by trying to remind myself what happened over 2005. Uh...

January

Continued to work at the school. Constant reminders of why teaching is a hit-and-miss game pop up everywhere. Also, January tends to be the most depressing month due to nothing happening.

February

Ivo comes to visit and cheers me up immensely. :):):) ... Winter is also starting to look less ugly due to my first trip to the tubing place. Stupid shit happens with the landlord.

March

Nagging thoughts over purpose of obtaining two degrees.

April

The Pope dies. Why is this such a big event to me, I'm not even sure anymore... Waves of strike days further disturb the regularity of the school year at the school, not to mention the teacher turnovers during the year.

May

More of my strike escapades. 3/4 of the school disappears to the wild for a character-building camping trip, while the leftovers like myself are stranded at school to fend for ourselves.

June

Exam corrections, and biking diversions pepper my month. The anniversary of my father's death still hurts.

July

Trip to Cowtown and environs. Weddings strengthen the family bonds. Got to see Wesley. :D Also, got to meet the psycho vampire dog Bobo. :|

August

Disappointed with myself not getting a job for the school year. :( Nonetheless, I made a vow to continue working in Quebec.

September

Amazing training to run 5 km! Well, not really that amazing. I turn 25. Does that mean I'm just an old baby?

October

Amazingly completed the run. @_@ Also, amazingly obtained a driver's licence. @______@ Also, the start of a long supply teaching run...

November

Continued the long supply teaching run. Happily, it means that I shouldn't be as worried as the summer to obtain a job, hopefully for the reasons I'm thinking of. The word "pancake" keeps popping up. Eddie's grandma passes away. :(

December

Birth of PJ the 3rd. :) Along the same lines, I learned the virtues of ordering things online. The possible start of crazy buying sprees... Felix and Rachel separately visit for the holiday break. :D:D:D

---

Jorgh visits me every month or so. I also go to Montreal every so often to shower him with gifts and/or food. I mean "and."

I met many interesting people and had lots of memorable experiences. I keep reading more and more manga when I should actually try to read real books, but I find pictures and stories more attractive. Might this be the real start of a different path?

A Bunch of Posts!

Damn right!

---

Vacation was good and bad in Alberta and TO.


The whole reason why we went to Calgary in the first place. Congratulations, Ilinca and Curtis!

Good: seeing my cousins in TO and Alberta, wedding meal, visiting Wesley, Banff and Lake Louise, Calgary Zoo (hence the sudden red panda craze), no heat wave (thank God), Aki and Betty's "vampire dog" Bobo after it calmed down.


One of four asian elephants at the Calgary Zoo. So cute!

Bad: how sad MH was, crazy urban planning in Cowtown, the misleading provincial-tax-lessness (because of more expensive goods), lack of any actual good chinese food in the two-block Chinatown, homeliness, homelessness, lack of humidity, lack of any plushie cows in the entire freaking city, driving back from MH (I thought I was going to *DIE*), Aki and Betty's "vampire dog" Bobo when it bit Michelle and Brian


Ugly photo of pretty mountains next to Banff. You should go there!

Funny: more pick-up trucks than SUVs in Montreal, "honour system" train, cowboy hats, Albertan accent, crazy freaky people roaming, Aki and betty's "vampire dog" Bobo.


Bobo the "Vampire Dog." Bad dog!

---

Anyway, I thought I would just tell you some projects I am (attempting to start) working on.

Firstly, the webcomic is still stuck in limbo, since I had an idea what to do a long, long time ago before I started drawing the damn thing. Then I lazily forgot what was going to happen, which led to a terrible, terrible standstill. I have every intention to complete the project, but it's massive. (Following the BG1 storyline, without all the sidequests and idiotic backtracking.) So I'm contemplating on that while I'm working on finishing the game. No, I haven't finished the game. Not once. No. Dammit.

I posted those BG portraits some weeks ago, so you're always free to use for your own personal games, or just to stare at and worship, or something equally as hilarious. I am working on some more portraits as well, just to fill out the necessary roles. (Like the triple-classed whatnot... eh, who am I kidding. That one'll probably look like a freak.) What I can't do very well is everything having to do with non-person features. Clothes, weapons, props, backgrounds, etc. - these are the things I will be featuring more often in my drawings.

I have been reading many mangas online. This led me to recall a story years ago I wanted to work on in manga form, though I am afraid to start drawing and stop, due to forgetting the story *coughwebcomiccough* ... so I am writing the whole thing out before drawing. I'll present a draft of a few chapters here when I finish. Just to note, the writing is presented in pseudo-manga form, so don't expect an award-winning novel format.

That's all folks!