Return of the Christmas Tree!

Incidentally, the digital camera ceased functioning correctly this year, probably due to the contact points with the batteries, so I didn't get to take instant photos of the tree-making process this year. :(

To make up for it, below are the previous 3 years' Christmas Tree(s). They are all pointing to the left.



Why, you may ask, through the passage of time do all these trees look the same? It is because we have had this artificial tree for more than 20 years, and the ornaments for at least 15. On top of putting the tree together year after year over the last 20 years, I have had to do it by myself in the last three or four years, and I still haven't figured out which colour code on the tip of the bristle goes at which level of the tree. And every year, the tree seems to look worse.

From loss of its plastic needles to the vacuum cleaner, to the decrease of its perpendicularity from the demands of gravity, the plastic tree has its quirks.

Nevermind that the holes along the "trunk" of the tree have been deteriorating over time, to the point where it can barely hold up the stems of the bristles. Nor that the original plastic base that came with the tree broke into smithereens ages ago and we took to using a metal base meant for an actual tree to sit in, with parts that are meant to be drilled into the actual tree stump to hold it into place, thus destroying the "trunk" even further. Nor that the parts all get twisted and stuffed into a box at the end of every season, and come out looking even more flattened the next holiday. And dressing up the tree in rather (real) old-skool child-made ornaments pretty much guarantees the perpetual pathetic antiquated look.

This is an ode, to you, tree. Some people hold their real trees more dearly than an artificial one; but you, reliable friend, have never caught on fire and for that I truly appreciate you.

Nothing Ever Happens

The forest had all but been cut clean, save a solitary spruce tree that was saved because of its attractive shape and unusually large girth and height. The new owner of the lot had decided it could provide the land with some character, and it could also nicely raise the property value of the house to be built. The tree had stood for at least a hundred years, surviving season after season of intense snow storms and scorching summer mayhem. The tree's seeds made up part of the forest around it. The squirrels and chipmunks were often found under its boughs, and birds welcomed the cones especially in the winter. It was not unusual to see a moose hiding under it during vicious storms. But now a construction worker stood under it, hiding in the shade from the sweltering summer sun, smoking on his lunch break. The stub that had not been properly put out started the fire. Nobody noticed the tree, dry from the heat, robed in flames, until it was too late. The fire department put out the flaming stump, and all that was left was a dark frame of a tree. A few hours later, while nobody was looking, charred cones released their seeds.

A Merry Cleaning Ninja Christmas and a Happy New Year!