Fears

When I have nothing else to write about, I usually point out how disgustingly and mopingly unemployed I am. Some people would go absolutely nuts if they have no direct and regular source of income, or not have any sort of plan in mind to do so. And some of you are workaholics who can't sit still.

I know you; you're the ones that I envy, who seem to be able to handle and conquer all things. Invulnerable, courageous and unashamed. Your self imposed weaknesses are but trifles in other people's point of view, and your strengths are infinite.

This is me. I have absolutely zero problem talking to someone face to face to ask for something, but when it's over the phone... forget it.

A second level of fear above that is asking someone for something that benefits me personally. I'd rather do anything else than ask for a favor. I'm certain it's not because I don't want to owe someone, because if anyone asks me for anything I don't hesitate (unless it's ridiculous).

And the most debilitating one of all: I fear rejection or failure from lack of sufficient skill. I'm the type who absolutely finds everything fascinating... to a point. Yes, even sports. But I don't feel like anything near an expert at any sort of thing. (And you're going to say, "But nobody's an expert at everything." And then I'm going to say, "But I'd like to be an expert at just one thing." Then you can counter with, "You have an inferiority complex." And then I'll say, "Oh you're right.)

OK, enough blah. Here's a sketch.